≡ Menu

dear mr. you by mary-louise parker

I wish I could remember what made me pick up Mary-Louise Parker’s book Dear Mr. You, but I’m drawing a blank. I’d heard a lot of good things about the book, but I can’t figured out what it was that prompted me to actually buy it (other than the fact that my name is Kim and I am a book-buying addict). It turned out to be a rather perfect little collection of essays for my reading-challenged brain.

Parker is an actress probably best-known for playing pot-dealing suburban mom Nancy Botwin on Weeds, but I also loved her stint as Amy Gardner on The West Wing (so great!). Dear Mr. You, her first book, is a memoir told in letters to various men in her life. There are obvious ones like her father and grandfather (really touching) as well as some unexpected choices like “Future Man Who Loves My Daughter” and “NASA” that help tell the story of who Parker is and how she’s lived her life.

It’s actually kind of interesting to write about this book shortly after I pondered ghostwriting in celebrity memoirs, since it’s abundantly clear from the first page that the writing in this book is all Parker. She’s candid and funny and open and vulnerable on every page. And although each essay is a letter to a man, the book is very much about Parker – her choices, her experiences, her desires, her fears and her joys. I loved that about the collection.

That said, it’s also one of those books where the writing came awfully close to being over done. There were a few places where it felt like style might overwhelm the substance of the letter – the opening essay is this rather incredible run-on list to all of the men Parker writes about that nonetheless had me a little worried – but on the whole I thought it was really lovely.

My very favorite little passage came in an essay called “Dear Man Out of Time,” one of the shorter pieces about a brief, friendly relationship Parker developed with a who had terminal cancer. She ends with this paragraph, which took me back to being on the beach in Greece – one of the perfect views of my own lifetime:

It was short but I loved our little trip. We fell in love, but the way you love a view that comes along once or twice in life. You don’t want to leave it because it feels like, yes of course, this is the perfect spot. Those moments always come with a little shock and I love that sensation, when you think, this is too good, I’ll catch up with everyone else later. You just have to take in the truth of that expanse a few more seconds before it changes and becomes something else entirely, or before you do.

Love it. I’m so glad to have read this book.

{ 11 comments }

Currently | Thankgiving (Food) Hangovers

currently november 29 2015

Time and Place | About 8:30 a.m., in the quiet living room at my parents house. This is going to be the setting for the next three weekends — I didn’t plan my December travel well and will be on the road a lot.

Eating and Drinking | Just so tea so far this morning, I’m still a little full from all the great food we had yesterday as part of Thanksgiving II. Hooray for leftovers.

Reading | Happily, a day off work and a day being lazy were great for my reading. I finished Re Jane by Patricia Park and Step Aside, Pops by Kate Beaton (of Hark, a vagrant) fame — both excellent. I’m hoping to finish The Dead Duke, His Secret Wife and the Missing Corpse by Piu Marie Eatwell today, but we’ll see.

Watching | My sister, mom and I continued our holiday tradition of watching the new Hallmark Christmas movies last night. We play a game to see who can predict the plot the earliest — they’re comforting in their total silliness.

Making | I may have over-committed to crochet Christmas presents this year, but I suppose my family will be forgiving if they’re not quite done on Christmas morning.

Cooking | We’re not going to be cooking for a week thanks to leftovers. Yay!

Blogging | For the last week of Nonfiction November, I shared some thoughts on ghostwriting and I Am Malala. Doing the readalong for week four was a new strategy for Nonfiction November — I’m curious what participants thought about that?

Promoting | A few of my favorite bloggers are hosting A Month of Faves in December, basically a series of blog prompts for the moth focusing on the best of the year. It looks like fun, and I’m thinking about participating.

Hating | For the next six weeks, I am going to be hating the fact that the town where I live is so far from the Twin Cities. It’s about a three hour drive, give or take, which isn’t bad… just tedious.

Loving | I took the day off work tomorrow! The plan is to tidy the house, put up Christmas decorations, and get ahead on blogging for the month. Sounds divine.

Avoiding | I should get up off the couch and help my mom clean up from Thanksgiving yesterday… but ugh, dishes.

Anticipating | Despite my grumbling, the next six weeks or so are some of my favorite of the year. I see a my family and friends more than ever, get to eat tons of great food, and have a lot of quiet time in the car just to think. As long as the weather holds off, it can be pretty great.

Happy Sunday, everyone! What are you reading today?

{ 10 comments }

Split Celebrations and My Thanksgiving Reading

thanksgiving weekend reading

Hooray, day off from work in the middle of the week!

Thanksgiving has turned into kind of a hit-or-miss holiday for me. I don’t get the day after Thanksgiving off as an official work holiday, and since we are a Saturday newspaper work needs to get done Friday so the paper gets printed and delivered on time.

This year I decided not to take Friday off, so it’ll be a bit of a split Thanksgiving celebration. We’re going over to a friend’s house for dinner today, then heading to the Twin Cities on Friday night to do Thanksgiving II with my family on Saturday. Then, a dear friend is getting ordained on Sunday afternoon, so we’re sticking around for that before heading back home. It should be a full, festive weekend… once I get done working!

But, I’m not thinking about that now. Today is a vacation meant for reading, food, friends and football. We’re not heading out for Thanksgiving dinner until about 3 p.m., so I’ve got all morning for books (and a short list of chores I’m hoping to get done before we’re out of town for the weekend). Here’s what’s on my list for the weekend:

  • Re Jane by Patricia Park –– I’ve been in the middle of this book forever. I’m not sure what’s taking so long, but I am determined to finish it today. I’m enjoying it a lot so far, so I doubt that will be a chore.
  • The Dead Duke, His Secret Wife and the Missing Corpse by Piu Marie Eatwell — I swear, I’m going to stop buying new books soon. I ordered this one a few days ago and I’m kind of excited to hop in — that title is impossible to resist.
  • Get In Trouble by Kelly Link — The boyfriend and I needed some short stories on audio book for our drive, and this one came recommended when I asked for collections that were weird or a little dark.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends and readers. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

{ 13 comments }

Nonfiction November 2015Hello, friends, and welcome to our final week of Nonfiction November, a month-long celebration of nonfiction hosted by myself, Leslie (Regular Rumination), Katie (Doing Dewey) and Rebecca (I’m Lost In Books).

Rather than a formal topic the last week of the month — which often gets busy as the holiday season gears up — we decided to spend this week focusing on a single book, I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai and Christina Lamb. Katie, this week’s host, has some discussion questions and a link up on her blog. For my post, I wanted to write a bit about ghostwriting and memoirs, something this book made me think a lot about.

i am malalaMalala Yousafzai’s story is, by this point, so well-known that she can go by her first name only. In October 2012, the fifteen-year-old was shot in the head by a Taliban operative on her bus ride home from school. Malala was targeted because of her outspoken advocacy – in conjunction with her father – for education, especially for young girls. A year after she was shot, she was the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

Her memoir, I Am Malala, was published just a year after she was shot and was written in collaboration with journalist Christina Lamb – something I find really interesting. Lamb wrote a piece for The Sunday Times“My Year with Malala” – that discusses how she was hired to work on the book (a literary agent representing Malala approached her about the project) and a bit about her experience getting to know Malala and her family as they developed the memoir. As part of her work on the book, Lamb actually visited Pakistan, including the school Malala attended and the mountain villages where her parents, Ziauddin and Tor Pekai, grew up.

It seems like an incredible amount of work, yet clearly work that was needed – Malala’s story is powerful because it’s hers and because, as Lamb notes in her piece, it could be the story of many of the young women struggling to get an education across the world:  

Afterwards, when I chat to Malala’s classmates, tears spring to my eyes. All of them are so eloquent and passionate about schooling, even though some of them say their brothers would withdraw them from school at the first hint of any independent thought. One of her classmates says to me: “We could all have been Malala, but our parents wouldn’t have let us speak out publicly as hers did.”

Certainly, I’m not bringing this up because I want to minimize Malala’s story, her experience, or her work in writing this memoir. As a journalist, I’m just fascinated by the idea of being hired to adopt another person’s voice and help them convey their story in what you hope will seem like their words – and how having a ghostwriter shapes the story a person is trying to tell.

I also wonder about the publishing decision to hire a ghostwriter to assist with a memoir, rather than hiring someone to write a researched biography of that person. Is there the assumption that people would rather hear a story “straight from the source” than through an interpreter? The articles I read suggested as much – celebrities get book contracts because their names can sell a book, but many need an assist to put together something worth reading.

Would this book be different if Lamb had written a “straight” biography of Malala and her family? I think so. Part of what makes the memoir effective is how poised yet childlike Malala is in the stories she tells. And I don’t think you can attribute that poise to Lamb – Malala was an experienced public speaker before she was shot, and has continued to exude confidence and warmth in her appearances since. But without Lamb’s assistance, I don’t think we as readers would have the chance to hear from her – writing a book like this is not something a 16-year-old girl recovering from an assassination attempt would have been able to do alone.

That said, I can’t wait to read a book straight from Malala herself as she continues her work as an activist for education around the world.

For some other thoughts on ghostwriting, I recommend these articles:

And with that, I just want to thank everyone so much for your participation in Nonfiction November this year. If you have any suggestions for 2016, please leave them in the comments or e-mail to any one of the cohosts — we’re always looking for ideas and hope we can continue this fun event next year.

{ 15 comments }
currently november 22 2015.jpg

Briefly | Last weekend I was in the Twin Cities doing some volunteering and didn’t have it in me to put a post together. This week has been pretty normal, but it felt like I was working a ton (a couple evening meetings coupled with a couple earlier-than-normal mornings will do that).

Eating and Drinking | Cranberry orange black tea and a giant chocolate chip muffin, but I’m thinking about the egg/bacon/biscuit sandwich I had last weekend at Butter Bakery Cafe. SO GOOD.

Reading | My reading has continued at a snails pace. Since I last checked in, I’ve finished Dear Mr. You by Mary Louise Parker. I’m still (slowly) reading Re Jane by Patricia Park, and I hope to finish I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai and Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates today or tomorrow.

Watching | I suspect the reason reading is still slow is because there’s been a lot of watching going on around here. I’m done with five episodes of the BBC Wolf Hall adaptation, and I watched a little bit of Jessica Jones on Netflix. We also did a Mockingjay double feature last night, catching Part 1 at home and heading to the theater for Part 2. Mini Reviews: Wolf Hall is more accurate and less fun than The TudorsJessica Jones seems fun, but I haven’t hit the dark parts yet. Mockingjay Part 2 is a well-done adaptation, but man, that book is such a downer.

Cooking | The first winter-y weekend of the year calls for a pot roast in the crock pot. I’m thinking about trying Budget Bytes’ Sweet Potato Corn Bread as a side.

Blogging | For week two of Nonfiction November, I wrote about books on science and community. For week three, I wrote about some online essays that I think are doing cool things with the format. I also wrote about Sarah Vowell’s Lafayette in the Somewhat United States.

Promoting | Two fun posts this week: How to Hygge (Or: 29 Ways to Actually Enjoy Winter) by Sarah Von Bargen at Yes and Yes and How Hamilton Uses History by Joanne B. Freeman at Slate.

Hating | Winter is here? We didn’t get the snow that much of Wisconsin and Illinois did, but our warm fall has finally come back to reality. Yesterday we pulled out the flannel sheets and I found my electric blanket. I’m trying to embrace the season changing.

Loving | Elect Hamilton, a genius Tumblr from our own Shannon (River City Reading) and April (The Steadfast Reader). It is perfect.

Loving II | Phil Klay, author of the short story collection Redeployment, wrote an eloquent response to the total craziness going on related to Syrian refugees. The most important: “But it’s only during frightening times when you get to find out if your country really deserves to call itself the ‘home of the brave.'”

Avoiding | I am woefully behind on blog comments… I don’t even want to look.

 

Anticipating | The Vikings play the Packers in a big game later this afternoon. Even if the Vikings lose — which I always expect that they will — it should be a fun match up.

Happy Sunday everyone! What are you reading today?

{ 16 comments }